damn fishes

They all say the same thing. Pisces you are a pain in the ass but your heart is huge. Your passion extends to too many worlds that only a few are allowed to see. Dreaming and dreaming never living in the same realm with the rest of the world. No one understands you; no one can truly love you the way you need to be loved. You need the same attention that a mother would give. Without drama you would go crazy, without secrecy you would be nothing because this is all you have. Your mind will always be with you. People will not. It will drive you nuts that someone will not work with you in resolving a problem. You will blame yourself when most of the time there is not even a problem. Afraid that everyone hates you, you try to wear a hard coat of armor that is easily penetrated by attention. Your heart sits out there for anyone to play with. Yet you will only hide it for a little while allowing it to reside right back in the same place, on the ground. Disappearing is your solution to everything, but you can't disappear into one of your dreams. Moreover, which dream would you choose? You have no idea and never will. So, you will go through life bouncing from one reef to another always searching for the better one, but you will never find it. So, what will happen to you? It will take someone who is very strong, motherly, creative, a leader, and have the patience to love you dearly and not let your moods affect them. No confrontation or the like, just love and compassion, better than a best friend. Sad isn't it. Good luck there fish man. You’re going to need it.

Christopher Chapman 2008 ©

not sleeping

It is 6 am; do you know where your brain is? Mine is running through complications and solutions, ordeals that are polluted with this strange feeling called numb. Thoughts and ideas run in and out of it and I cannot sleep. I arise from my bed and swallow my medication hoping it will slow it down so that I may go back to sleep. I could read poems from Rupert Brook. Even though they ring precious undertones of misery in my mind when I read them, it may still keep me awake. Only the light of my laptop now shines. I read that a light turned on will tell your brain that it is time to wake up and process the day’s journeys. From scratching my ass to figuring out how I will pay the bills this week. Therefore, I turn off the kitchen light. I also do not use my glasses hoping to make my eyes tired. All of this shit seems to be working, slowly, nevertheless working.

Christopher Chapman 2008 ©